I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
