Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish my penis had a tongue
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
