Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
