Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
