Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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