When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
FUCK WHALES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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