If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
