it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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