Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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