Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
