I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
