jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i would punch a child for taco bell
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
