if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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