She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
