I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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