meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I AM VODKA MAN
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
