talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
