She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm like, not good at living.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
