he wants to bone in the snuggie
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize