I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
