Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
