happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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