Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
