Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
