Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
