Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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