Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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