If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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