i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
