Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
