Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
