Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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