Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
