As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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