fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
