well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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