Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
