i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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