I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
