You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
