is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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