...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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