I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
