i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dick very happy bro
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
