Whod you bang
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
