Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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