Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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