Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
