I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
