so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
